Love love love it. Obvs. 💘💘💘💘

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This yea I’ve realised how much I struggle with patience, of being content to be in the messy middle of something. It’s definitely my perfectionist drive to do more and be better but I just don’t have the energy for it anymore. I love Emma’s turtle reference, and I’m going to keep that in mind this year, along with this essay. Thank you for sharing so eloquently what I’ve been struggling to unravel in my own mind.

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Hi Abigail,

Happy New Year, very happy to see you make such positive commitments to yourself and your journey :)

I've felt for the longest time that we have been sold the lie that success comes in a very specific package (and isn't it just lovely and shiny, all wrapped in capitalism with a nice little patriarchal bowtie atop) and that if we aren't working towards attaining success in that package, how can we ever consider ourselves successful? To see and read that others are coming to the same realisation gives me a mixed sense of retrospective validation and great relief!

Celebrate the commitment and dedication to yourself, it's absolutely the best thing any of us can do. There's still going to be times when you need to play the game, but when you know that you're playing it because you're committed and dedicated to yourself the rules are slightly different and you're totally aware that it's just a game.

I have been making goals this year, which is something that I normally don't do - I'm a planner, not a goal maker - but after reading your post I realised that all the goals I've written are purely to do with me doing things for me to make myself happier. Just seeing that made me happier still.

And most importantly, I expect to fuck up and that's totally fine. One of the commentors below said 'honour myself' and this is the crux of it. If I fuck up, that's life. It isn't a fuck up at all, it's just life doing what life does, which is move up and down and be unpredictable!

I wish you all the best successes with your 2023 and look forward to reading more about your progress as the year goes on.

Wishing you all the best,


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Treating yourself kindly will be my motto again this year. I will try not to compare to there nd be proud of writing 50000 plus words first draft. I will be braver this year 💪 It's easy to get lost in the goals and achievements of others and comparison. My lantern is firmly switched on.

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The last sentence is everything!! Thank you for sharing and inspiring ♥️

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absolutely loving this. this year is the first time i actually didn’t write any goals on a list but just two words: honor yourself.

they’re my north star this year, every time i make an important decision or when i feel hung up, i’ll remind myself of that.

and i think it’s true that focusing so much on milestones they somehow make us spectators of our lives, as if we’re watching our own movies, as if it were scripted by someone else

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Jan 3Liked by Abigail Bergstrom

I’ve never set goals or resolutions for the year for myself. I’ve put it down to pure laziness. But after reading this I realise I’ve been doing the right thing by letting myself be and do and learn and fail. And just to make the most of life and be happy.

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I like the “lanterns” quote. Thanks for sharing 💫

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