If I remember correctly it wasn't all that long ago you went on a retreat and purged a whole bunch of stuff from the system of mind, body and soul? My experience with these sort of things is, just like Virginia Woolf describes, that sickness is very liberating but the flipside of this is that liberation also brings to light a great deal of sickness. These unpopped, festering bubbles of overstepped boundaries that we ignore and the hundred other things we accept along the way are given the chance to breathe when we exercise these liberation skills (retreats, yoga, meditation, whatever it is that we do). But this is it: it brings this stuff to LIGHT! Once its there it comes up on the surface, bubbles and burns and fucks us up, then goes away and we are left only with the memory. It's up to us not to hold on to the memory as the thing itself, it's exactly that which brings the sicknesses back into the body. Good on you for being sick and doing less than you would have done in the past, good on you for seeing there's still room for improvement, and good on you for putting it out there for other people to see. Sickness shows us our fears and our shortcomings but there's nothing for us to do in the sickness but to be right the fuck in there - and drink plenty of fluids, of course. When we're healthy we run toward our fears and disempower them. Keep up the good fight and I look forward to your next post :)
I spent the morning bemoaning the fact that I am so disappointed with myself for succumbing to illness before coming across your article! I’m resentful of the fact that my body is letting me down. I feel defeated and weak! What is it about our brain that just won’t admit defeat! Great read. I have now surrendered to the fact that I too need to slow down to recover from the dreaded November lurghy. It’s the only time I ever seem to get sick. I have reframed it since reading your piece and am now of the mindset that the reason I get unwell in November, is to kick start my immune system enough to keep me healthy and safe throughout the rest of the gruesome winter months! Now I have succumbed and am going to chill.... after I sweep the kitchen floor!🤪
A great piece! Feeling attacked though after working through a horrendous cold the last two weeks. I loved the part about bouts of illness revealing something about us, even if for me it’s something as simple as realising how much I appreciate being able to breathe through my nose! Been riding that high for a few days now.
Thanks for writing this. 'It’s like we’re all part of this awful club we invented in our heads, yet none of us actually want to be a member.' - hooked from this sentence. The actual 'day in the life' description of what you did when you were ill also very relatable... laptop in bed definitely a warning sign for all of us!
I always enjoy reading your posts :)
If I remember correctly it wasn't all that long ago you went on a retreat and purged a whole bunch of stuff from the system of mind, body and soul? My experience with these sort of things is, just like Virginia Woolf describes, that sickness is very liberating but the flipside of this is that liberation also brings to light a great deal of sickness. These unpopped, festering bubbles of overstepped boundaries that we ignore and the hundred other things we accept along the way are given the chance to breathe when we exercise these liberation skills (retreats, yoga, meditation, whatever it is that we do). But this is it: it brings this stuff to LIGHT! Once its there it comes up on the surface, bubbles and burns and fucks us up, then goes away and we are left only with the memory. It's up to us not to hold on to the memory as the thing itself, it's exactly that which brings the sicknesses back into the body. Good on you for being sick and doing less than you would have done in the past, good on you for seeing there's still room for improvement, and good on you for putting it out there for other people to see. Sickness shows us our fears and our shortcomings but there's nothing for us to do in the sickness but to be right the fuck in there - and drink plenty of fluids, of course. When we're healthy we run toward our fears and disempower them. Keep up the good fight and I look forward to your next post :)
Nick
I spent the morning bemoaning the fact that I am so disappointed with myself for succumbing to illness before coming across your article! I’m resentful of the fact that my body is letting me down. I feel defeated and weak! What is it about our brain that just won’t admit defeat! Great read. I have now surrendered to the fact that I too need to slow down to recover from the dreaded November lurghy. It’s the only time I ever seem to get sick. I have reframed it since reading your piece and am now of the mindset that the reason I get unwell in November, is to kick start my immune system enough to keep me healthy and safe throughout the rest of the gruesome winter months! Now I have succumbed and am going to chill.... after I sweep the kitchen floor!🤪
A great piece! Feeling attacked though after working through a horrendous cold the last two weeks. I loved the part about bouts of illness revealing something about us, even if for me it’s something as simple as realising how much I appreciate being able to breathe through my nose! Been riding that high for a few days now.
Thanks for writing this. 'It’s like we’re all part of this awful club we invented in our heads, yet none of us actually want to be a member.' - hooked from this sentence. The actual 'day in the life' description of what you did when you were ill also very relatable... laptop in bed definitely a warning sign for all of us!
Good advice!
Great post, found you via the London Writers Salon podcast episode.